Playing the Long Game: Choosing to Homeschool Year After Year

I'm often asked: "How did you know to stick with homeschooling?"

My answer usually goes like this: "We just kept choosing it."

Many families new to home education, especially in states like New Jersey where there is little guidance on what to do and how, want a step-by-step manual for homeschooling their children.

But the beauty of home education is that there are no one-size-fits-all answers. Regardless of what educational approach you take, or the curriculums you use, every family's homeschool journey will look different.

What makes the difference between families who simply experiment with homeschooling and families who choose to homeschool for the long haul is trust.

Trusting Yourself

I'm going to assume that you are an observant, caring, proactive parent who wants the best for your child. If you're not that kind of parent, you probably shouldn't be homeschooling and can stop reading right now.

Homeschooling long-term requires that when the going gets tough, you can calm your often irrational fears and fall back on your identity as an observant, caring, and proactive parent. Because it's THAT parent who will be able to hear their child's perspective.

It's that parent who will be willing to problem solve.

It's that parent who will be willing to learn new things and adapt.

And it's that parent who knows deep down that they CAN homeschool their child and that they will do their all to support their child's growth and well-being.

And they don't need any special degrees or certificates to do it either (though having some doesn't hurt).

Trusting the Process

Many veteran homeschoolers become veteran homeschoolers because they embrace a simple, but valuable mindset: learning is a lifelong journey. Not just for the children but for the parents as well.

This framing takes a lot of the usual school mindsets and pressures off, allowing for more freedom, flexibility, and acceptance along the homeschool journey.

A school mindset says we only learn Monday through Friday from 7 am - 3 pm from September to June. A journey mindset recognizes that learning happens all 7 days a week and in every season of the year.

School mindsets tell us we have to learn specific pre-determined subjects at specific pre-determined times. A journey mindset accepts that children enjoy learning different things at different times and it's okay if some things take longer, happen faster, are totally outside the box, need more support, or get skipped altogether.

A school mindset says learning is what we do only when and how we are told to do it. A journey mindset says that learning is our lifestyle. It happens all the time, can be initiated by anyone, and can look like many different things.

The lifestyle aspect has been one of the most important ideas fueling our homeschool journey over the past 10 years.

When I framed home education as part of the fabric of our family life, rather than just "another kind of schooling to try", I found it easier to navigate the ups and downs, find my balance during life transitions, and accept my limitations without making myself feel like a failure or blaming homeschooling as the root cause of all of our problems.

In short, I trusted the process.

I trusted that since it's pretty much impossible for children not to learn, the default would always be that they are learning. And any details of when, what, or how much they're learning along the way just comes down to logistics.

And as an observant, caring, proactive parent who always wants the best for my children, logistics can be managed.

Trusting Allah

When you choose to homeschool, you choose to take on a large job: the job of educating your children outside the usual systems of support that the overwhelming majority of families in this country use.

While there are far more resources and support out there for homeschoolers now than there were 10 years ago, it's still a big leap of faith.

The #1 way to get through it, is to turn to the One who brought you here to begin with.

When I was just starting out, a dear friend and homeschool mentor taught our family a beautiful Qur'anic dua that we still say to this day: 'Rabbi Zidni Ilma' (Surah Ta-Ha, Verse 114).

"My Lord, increase me in knowledge."

Seek Allah's help, ask for His guidance, and always renew those intentions. With the right mindset, homeschooling can be a beautiful way to earn Allah's pleasure as a family and grow together in your faith.

When things get tough, pour your heart out to Allah and trust that He will open doors for you to figure things out.