Resolving Conflicts with The Peace Rose

Parents of multiple children know well that childhood conflicts are a normal part of growing up. While conflicts can at times be uncomfortable and upsetting for our children, they can also be a great learning opportunity.

Enter the Peace Rose. 🌹

In the Montessori approach to learning, the Peace Rose is a gentle, yet powerful tool for actively teaching children how to resolve conflicts respectfully.

When a child has a conflict with another child, it's important that both children are given time and space to process their emotions about express their feelings about the situation. Without this, children can fall into a negative cycle of reacting, lashing out, and/ or avoidance. This can lead to greater problems down the line such as a child learning to supress their true feelings and hold onto resentment towards their peers.

The Peace Rose is a simple exercise that invites children in conflict to express their feelings, identify the problem, and work towards an agreeable solution.

While one child holds the rose, expressing their feelings about the disagreement, the other child listens attentively, and then takes their turn with the rose to share their perspective.

This process encourages important conflict resolution skills building, including:

  • active listening,

  • empathy,

  • self-expression,

  • respectful communication, and

  • understanding others' viewpoints.

Parents can reinforce conflict resolution at home by implementing their own Peace Rose, or other special object for the family.

Explain to your children that when they have a disagreement, they can use the chosen object to take turns speaking and listening. Encourage them to express their feelings clearly and to listen without interrupting. This practice helps children develop patience and respect for others' perspectives.

Parents can model the behavior for their children. When conflicts at home arise, demonstrate how to use the peace object by calmly expressing your feelings and listening to your child's concerns.

You can also add The Peace Rose book to your home library for helpful examples of childhood conflicts and resolutions for your family.

Over time, consistent practice with expression and listening during challenging moments will help children internalize the importance of respectful communication and conflict resolution, at home and at the co-op.